Our resident sexologist, Jamie Bucirde, gives us a guide to understand and explore a unique aspect of sexual pleasure.

Hey readers, we are blessed with another week’s sex and intimacy question for On the Cusp, and this one sure did deliver! Dive in.

Q:

“Dear Jamie,

I am 45 years old and currently in a relationship with a very open man who has tried hard to please me in the bedroom. While he’s not afraid to try different things, we still have not reached our goal. With so many different stories on how to achieve an orgasm that includes squirting for a lady, I have resorted to education and so this email to you. Please help me squirt.”

A:

Dear Seeking to Squirt,

Thanks for your question! Achieving female ejaculation, often referred to as squirting, is a unique and fascinating experience. While it’s a personal journey that varies for each individual, there are general guidelines and techniques that can help you and your partner explore this aspect of sexual pleasure together.

Understanding Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation involves the expulsion of fluid from the Skene’s glands, often referred to as the female prostate, located near the G-spot (think of the vaginal cavity behind your belly button). This fluid is released through the urethra and can vary in amount and consistency.

According to Dr. Jolene Brighten’s guide on female ejaculation, the process is natural and can be achieved through specific stimulation techniques and an open, relaxed approach to sexual exploration​ (Oxford Academic)​.

Steps to Help Achieve Squirting

Here are some steps to guide you and your partner towards achieving squirting:

1. Relaxation and Comfort

Creating a comfortable and relaxed environment is crucial. Ensure that you feel safe, relaxed, and free from any pressure or performance anxiety. The more at ease you are, the more likely your body will respond positively.

2. Communication

Open and honest communication with your partner is essential. Discuss your goals and desires, and make sure you’re both on the same page. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t as you explore.

3. G-Spot Stimulation

The G-spot is a key area to focus on for achieving squirting. It’s located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. When stimulated, it can swell and become more sensitive. Here are some techniques for G-spot stimulation:

• Manual Stimulation: Use a come-hither motion with one or two fingers to massage the G-spot. Applying consistent pressure and varying the speed and intensity can help find what feels best.
• Sex Toys: G-spot vibrators or dildos designed for G-spot stimulation can provide more focused and intense stimulation.

4. Clitoral Stimulation

Combining G-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation can enhance pleasure and increase the likelihood of achieving squirting. The clitoris is highly sensitive and can amplify the sensations from G-spot stimulation.

5. Experiment with Positions

Different positions can provide varying angles and depths of penetration, which can help in finding the most effective stimulation for squirting. Some positions to try include:

Missionary with Legs Up: This allows for deeper penetration and easier access to the G-spot.

Doggy Style: This position can provide direct G-spot stimulation with the right angle and depth.

6. Take Your Time

Achieving squirting may take time and multiple attempts. Don’t rush the process. Enjoy the journey and focus on the pleasure rather than just the goal. Patience and persistence are key.

Additional Tips and Considerations

1. Stay Hydrated

Some believe that staying well-hydrated can influence the amount of fluid expelled during squirting. While there’s no concrete evidence, it doesn’t hurt to ensure you’re well-hydrated.

2. Orgasm vs. Squirting

It’s important to note that squirting doesn’t necessarily coincide with an orgasm, although the two can happen simultaneously. Focus on enjoying the sensations and the experience rather than solely aiming for an orgasm.

3. Emotional Connection

Building an emotional connection with your partner can enhance your sexual experiences. Trust, intimacy, and emotional closeness can create a more conducive environment for exploring new aspects of pleasure.

Recent research, such as the study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, sheds light on the physiological and psychological aspects of female ejaculation. The study highlights that understanding individual anatomical differences and psychological readiness plays a significant role in achieving squirting​ (Oxford Academic)​. Achieving squirting is a personal journey and can vary greatly from person to person. The key is to approach it with an open mind, patience, and a sense of curiosity. By focusing on relaxation, communication, and exploring different techniques, you and your partner can enjoy the process of discovering new dimensions of pleasure together.

Remember, every woman’s body is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Keep experimenting, and most importantly, enjoy the journey.

Wishing you the best of luck and much pleasure on your exploration! Stay safe and stay sexy.

Jamie Bucirde has a postgraduate degree in sexology from Curtin University. Her advice is of a general nature and should be taken in the spirit of the column.