Now that football is in the city, just throwing on any old team colours and heading to the match won’t do. Instead, we have the most excellent challenge of dressing for before, during and after the game.
What to wear: Footy in the city
For the gentleman.
Deciding what to wear to the next AFL match in Adelaide isn’t as simple as a poncho and Port Power pullover or Adelaide Crows cravat anymore. Here’s some tips to help you refill your match day wardrobe.
It’s not a baseball game it’s Australian Rules, mate. Of course we’re not suggesting you don an Akubra with dangling corks, but a sensible woolen head warmer (read: classy version of a beanie) that’s easy to pocket is a must. The classic watchman’s cap, not baseball cap, is a go-to all winter long.
Show your colours. There’s no room for fence-sitters at Adelaide Oval, and watching an AFL match is nowhere near as fun as participating in an AFL match. Spectators roar in unison, so get involved. A team scarf which can be snapped up at the ground or beforehand will give you that much more investment in the outcome and cause for relish or resentment afterwards.
The black leather bomber by Dolce & Gabbana is the perfect mix of “Keep you’re eyes on the ball and not on my date mate” and, for after the game, “Hi Mr Security Guard, please let me in the bar, I’m not a lout”.
A simple shirt to match your scarf. Something warm and – again, like our badass bomber jacket – manly. Pop by RHD on Clubhouse Lane (one street west of Leigh Street) on the way to the match and grab a long-sleeve number with a collar, sturdy thread and buttons.
Black denim is undoubtedly the go here with a bit of a jaunty cuff at the bottom to reveal some team colours at your ankles with a pair of your team’s socks, pulled high for extra warmth.
It’s got to be a pair of “made in the USA” Red Wings. The “Beckman” are a solid style that make light of both casual and more formal occasions, serving as the perfect bridge between plastic cups of beer at the game and glass tumblers of throat-curing scotch at the small bar afterwards.
FOR THE LADY.
My, how we are constantly reminded that severe distaste for the AFL equates to high levels of Un-Australianism. This teamed with another affliction such as “vegetarianism” or “Recovering Alcoholism” will secure your position as a taunting target this winter. Should you find yourself (coaxed or willingly) at a football match this winter, firstly ensure you bask in the implied homoerotism of it all; ahhh, glorious. Secondly, continue to behave like a human and less like a barn animal. Thirdly, and most importantly, dress with a certain level of dignity – this generally means no tracksuits.
Winter is cold, right? So riddle me this: why do people insist on sporting summer footwear in the rain? You simply cannot douse yourself in various textbook winter accessories and top it off with wet feet. This faux-pas is of the anger-inducing variety. So, for the love of God buy some boots. But, remember – ruched suedette boots were NEVER in fashion. Ever. Buy yourself an investment pair in a high quality material. The simpler the boot the better. Think an almond shaped toe with a classic, low stacked, or cuban heel.
One is not required to drench themselves in an offensive colour palate in order to fit in. If you barrack for the team with that weird lightning bolt, wear black on black (that turquoise works for no one). And if you go for the team with the muscular bird, wear a touch of navy or red. If you simply must wear team paraphernalia, fine – but remember, no one but petty crims look good in team beanies.
There are so many places denim should be avoided- the football however, is not one of them. Shall we move on from the ultra tight skinny leg? A little over old mate Boyfriend Jeans? I think so. Get the best of both worlds with a semi-relaxed pair, like the American Apparel Denim Tap Pants, or their classic high-waisted jeans.
Jasmin Neophytou is a freelance illustrator and graphic designer. Visit her website.
Being cold is distracting. Never miss a congratulatory athletic pat on the backside by ensuring you are layered up. In this case, wool is your friend forever. A woollen sweater underneath a parka or casual trench (avoid those hideous flared out trenches, unless you are five and visiting 1991) will keep you toasty, and for extra warmth and a certain level of sophistication try a collared shirt under your knit- I even endorse an elegant check in these circumstances.